he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize