Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
