I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
