thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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