I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize