Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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