Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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