Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
