just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
