you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
