Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
