They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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