Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
