He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I cut my penus on the lid.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
