I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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