Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
