We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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