i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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