white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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