i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
