I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
