its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
this just has baby written all over it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
