There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I deserve this hangover.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
