Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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