Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
