Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
