I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
