yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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