yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
