This is not my ceiling
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
