fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
