dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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