Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
