You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
