I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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