he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
