hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
