Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
