ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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