just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
