I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
