I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
