he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
