what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
