So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
my poor anus
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
