I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
