Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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