shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
