before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
