Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
