so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
