You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
