Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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