If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
