u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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