maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
