I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It was confusing and full of hummus
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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