That's intense
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
