so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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