By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
