I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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