dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
