Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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