It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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